Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think my moral compass just broke
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
