apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
