Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
