Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
