did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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