C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
