Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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