My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
