What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
