I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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