Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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