i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
