I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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