Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
