There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i've created a new STD.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
