On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
