I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
nutella sex= disaster
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
