i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
