Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
