one two three fourrrrnication!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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