DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
