Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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