so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
