We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
