do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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