Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
