she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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