At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
