oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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