She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
