got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
