I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
