VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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