I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
