I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
