The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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