Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
