I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
