for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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