U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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