you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They took my balls.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
