why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
