DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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