you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
