i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
