Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
