I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
