I want to walk on stilts...naked
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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