I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
