Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
